ChAdzTaH

Ngayon ko na lang ulit nabuksan itong LJ ko, siguro dahil bored ako dahil mag-isa lang ako dito sa Boarding House kaya naisipan kong magblog (kunwari). Hehe...

ACADS: Last week na ngayon ng acads ko, last week na may pasok pero ang requirements, POTA! wala pa akong nagagawa kahit isa! Ito ang isa sa mga pinakaayaw ko kapag nag-aaral eh! Paker talaga! Para kong bumalik ng undergrad, ang pinagkaiba lang ngayon, mas cute na ko! Haha... Parang every end of the sem, ganito iniisip ko, mag LOA, or AWOl! Parang wag na lang ulet mag-aral. Knowing na 12 units pa lang ang natatake ko and there's many more to come! My only reason of taking masters eh dahil LIBRE! Para man lang may mapala ako sa current work ko! Hehe.. Peace!

WORK: Same old work pa rin ako, ngayon lang eh parang mas dumami! Ewan ko ba kung bakit, masyado yata akong nagpapakabibo kaya ako ang parating nauutusan! Panuhol na lang ang bagong office pero gusto ko pa ng ibang suhol! Haha..

SOCIAL LIFE: Medyo anti social ako ngayon eh, ewan ko kung bakit, siguro trip ko lang maging snob at mejo masungit! Hehe... Maiba lang!

OTHER TYPES OF LIFE: Nothing much! Hehe.. ;D

When I woke up this morning, I felt so tired and restless! I really don't know why! I tried sleeping early last night coz I thought I just needed some sleep to recharge the energy of my body, but it didn't. Why? Am I doing so much work? (Even though I'm just surfing the net and peeking on Facebook), Am I not eating right?, Am I jogging too hard? I really don't know...

It just seems that there's too much happening in my head. I don't know if this is an effect of an ice coffee every morning. It's like I think of things...things that I don't know, I am not sure about. If I could just get my brain out of my skull and talk to "it", I would really ask, "what are you thinking? I should know coz it's affecting my body and you're part of it!" Haha... I have no problem, I mean consciously :p , I am good with my family, my job, my friends,  my life.... Ummmm... I paused a little bit and hesitated when I typed "my life". Why? Am I not happy with my life? I think I am, I know I am. So what keeps bothering my head?

Is it because I am getting old and it's part of the "maturity" thing, that is, thinking of things you're not even certain what those things are? Or is it that I am thinking of what will happen next to my life, after being a student for the longest time, and working for almost a year now, and then trying to study again, then what after that? Am I thinking ahead or it's just a normal thing? Am I being bothered by the things that will happen happen to me in the near future? Am I gonna die? Am I gonna live long? WHAT?

This brain stuck above me is really pissing me off! Or is it just telling or reminding me something I don't want to think about? If that's the case, what is it? I really doesn't want this feeling, the feeling of being clueless. The feeling of knowing something that you don't even remember or you pretend not to know! I don't want to play your, stupid brain, so tell me, what are you thinking??? -_-

While Jogging the other day, The sunflowers lined up in the Acad Oval caught my eyes, so I stopped by and took photos using my N78 phone! After that, jogged again and then thought that a year ago, I am nervous to see those sunflowers bloom coz it's a sign of the Graduation Season....after a year now, remembering my college years makes me wanna go to school again....I will...:D

Before I disconnect myself to the realm of the internet, I wanna post the pictures I took early this morning at Quezon Hall. And some pictures I took this day. I am a frustrated photographer so what I do is took pictures of whatever catches my eyes with my Nokia N78 phone. That's the best camera I have right now! Hehe... So, these are the best shots my camera can shoot! Hehe...

Smoking my third stick of marlboro lights in my room, I still can't figure out if I will post the picture of the solar eclipse that my camera caught early this morning! I know it's not a big deal but my laziness, tardiness is controlling me! Hehehe... I am doing anything...just surfing the net, and I am lazy to post those pictures!! I know its not a big deal, and you cannot even tell if there is a solar eclipse happening on the pictures I took! I think I'm just making a big fucking deal out of it!

After I took those pictures, I immediately thought of posting it online! And that thought creeped in my mind all day! I now thnk that this solar eclipse affected my insane brain, making it "more insaner" like a full moon affecting the tides of the ocean! So, without further a do, here's my version of the solar eclipse that happened this morning! (I am smiling thinking that I am crazy before I finished the last sentence, oh well, a good way to divert the stress at work)



See! Its not a big deal! The shots are not that good! Hehe... You can only see the sun is oval not the usual circle, and if you look closer, you can see the moon! Haha... Just look harder! Hehehe... Adios!

Im just browsing the net and saw issang's post of her Random thoughts volume 10! I also wanted to post one so here it is! Hehe.

From: Rommel, We could always choose to be happy!
Re: Pwde! Pero minsan gusto ko maging sad! Haha. Pangit naman araw araw masaya! Hehe.
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Buti na lang may internet dito sa office namin! Ang bumubuhay sa inaantok kong diwa!
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Excited na ko sa sweldo ko bukas! Actually, nung June 30 pa dapat yun e, e UP employer ko eh! Hehe.
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Sanay na akong magxerox! Haha. Pati magreduce! Lalong haha.
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Unti unti ng namamatay si Rose. Nagshrishrink na siya!
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I am loving my freedom, for now! Hehe.
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Kapag may kakilala akong nakakasalubong sa UP, ang bukambibig, LIBRE! Hehe.
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Ang isa ay masarap, ang pangalawa ay nakakapagod at ang pangatlo ay nakakapanghina ng tuhod! Hehe. Kung ano man yan, secret na lang!
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Hindi ko pa napapanuod ang Transformers! Grrr. . .
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5 sachets of coffee a day is bad, 10 sticks of cigarette is dangerous!
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I don't feel like ending this post, it keeps me awake! Hehe. Pero kelangan ng tapusin. Period.

26/06/09 Middle of the blazing heat of the sun beside a kiosk in the Main Library

After the tropical storm feria hit our country, i had a version of a storm that continuously hitting my very definition of love for a month now. Actually, I've been also battling my own storm, numbing every inch of my body like injecting anesthesia every minute. Most of the times, the anesthesia's working, me having a fine, happy day, without even thinking the storm that flooded me. But sometimes, even though a heavy dose of the best anesthetic drug can't paralyze my system. My version of my storm is not happening the way you picture a storm, it's surging from the inside, poking every numb part of my body.

As you can see, i'm very vague of the definition, name, its cause even the strength my cyclone! I think subconsciously, i want to keep it as vague and vivid as possible even though It is clear to me what is the cause, its impact on my body, the names and its crystal clear definition.

02/0709 Exactly 10:30 in the evening In my small but cozy home in KNL

I stopped making this post last 26th of June. I really can't remember why I did'nt finish this but I know the reason why I started this post. Maybe after typing the last word, the anesthesia worked and the storm just transformed into a heavy rain. A rain that you know would stop just after minutes. Just the right rain to water the plants and wash up all the dirt lingering on the road. Or maybe, I just stopped for no reason... I really can't remember why!

Six days have passed, I know that the storm inside me traveled far far away like a normal storm and the heavy rain has stopped. Sometimes, a drizzle showers my inner thoughts and emotions but I am not bothered with that, I know that these drizzles are just the aftermath of the storm, like aftershocks of an earthquake, giving me small tremors. Should I make a rain dance for those drizzles to stop?? Nah! I'm old enough to believe that rain dance can really stop a rain. You just need to be patient and wait, and you will see, the rain, how heavy it might seem, will eventually stop. You don't resist the rain and you don't fight it! Just have have to wait for it to stop or if you're to impatient, an umbrella is a good tool if you feel it is too strong to handle. An umbrella that will serve as a temporary shield from the blazing drops of water pounding the surface of your skin. You can also walk without an umbrella, but its too messy! You don't want to get too soaked up under it. Having some parts of the body getting wet is just ok. It is a sign that it is raining and don't you worry, coz those wet parts of your body will eventually dry and  just leave a scar to the sleeves of your shirt and will remind you that yesterday, it rained!

It is peaceful now, quiet. I can assure that the storm has really passed and will never come back. I know this will not be the last storm that will attack me, but I am very sure that the next storms will be different. Different range of strength, another cause but not this clear, and abso-fucking-lutely different name! I cannot assure you about the difference of its capacity with the past storms but I am definitely sure It has a different name! (and I am not anticipating for this next storm to happen right away) and don't know when will the next storm attack.

I feel good now! Not like an hour ago! Thanks to the unposted post that I made!ü I hope that post was saved in the drafts section. I can't see it coz im using my phone to surf the net!

As I've said in my unposted blog, I know for sure. . . ! Hehe.ü

Glad to be back in my normal day!ü

Recently, i just found out that there's wifi here in my office and thankfully, my phone can access the internet using wifi. Like right now, im typing this post through the keypad of my phone! That's cool!

This wifi saves my sanity from the hours of waiting and working. Working coz i am working and waiting for the clock to strike at 5pm! It keeps me awake all day and my blood running. Of course also with the help of a stick of cigarette and a sachet of Nescafe 3 in 1. This connection also became my diversion when i am thinking of something or someone else.. . .
More than that, it keeps me updated with what is happening in the world and also with my friends! Hehe.
Thanks to the NCTS wifi connection for making me as sane as possible everyday!